Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize