Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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