Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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