I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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