At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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