Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
it glows. i had to have it.
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I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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