After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
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I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
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I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!