After last night, I could never be a politician.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
