Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize