hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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