dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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