it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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