This girl is more easily done than said...
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.