It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Rumble strips road head = magical
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.