we're blogging at a bar
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"