she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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