Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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