awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
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dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
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He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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