ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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