I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
