You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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