Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize