if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
