we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
