They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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