how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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