Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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