My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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