so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize