Cold hands, warm shart.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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