Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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