someone threw a dead crab at me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
