I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
