don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize