all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ðð