Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?