Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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