We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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