After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.