For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
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Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
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I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".