I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.