absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.