Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.