is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
