The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
