Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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