it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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