Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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