i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
