All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
