Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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