I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize