farters have to be the big spoon...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
