she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
