Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize