know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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