I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
